Bonnie Renegar's Story

I wish that breast cancer wouldn’t follow me every waking hour, but it does. Sometime I feel almost desperate to do something, ANYTHING to make a difference with this awful disease.

In December 1983, I had my yearly mammogram. No problems, they said. Then in March 1984 I found a thumb sized lump in my left breast. A surgeon told me there was nothing wrong, just thickening of the breast tissue and to come back in six months. I didn’t buy that for a minute, so I went back to my OB and asked for another mammogram.  It was inconclusive so a needle biopsy was ordered and it was inconclusive. I was young, healthy, and had no family history. I was told that it was probably a cyst. I went into surgery thinking a cyst would be removed and all would be well, but I woke up without a left breast and was now numbered among the millions with breast cancer.

Cytoxan, 5FU and Adriamycin became my constant companions. Vomiting and baldness tend to dehumanize you. I went from an extremely strong independent woman to a shell shocked invalid for about a week. Then I got really mad. I was at Smithfield Jr. High with the Birdville ISD, but I missed very little work and bought wigs that matched my hair. Many in my school had no idea that I had cancer and that’s how I liked it. Some of the girls guessed and were sweet to me.  One day, however, a boy got mad at me for something and threatened to yank my wig off!  I yanked it off instead and hit him with it. We both ended up crying together. Perhaps his anger was fueled in part by being threatened by the possibility of my death. I was adamant….No pity party for me!  Just get on with it and get it over with. Surgery became my summer recreation. Finish a school year, have a surgery, go back to school.  Some schedule, huh?

As the years went on, many friends have died of breast cancer. I joined a cancer support group offered by my school district. Eventually I became the leader of the group and named it “The Circle with a Heart.” This group started going to the Race for the Cure as a group and eventually, we involved our whole school district. I am the captain of the Birdville ISD team this year and hope to get more people involved. You see, all around me there are people suffering and dying and I can’t understand why everybody doesn’t join in and fight this with me.

My brother-in-law died of breast cancer in 2008. It hit me like a brick that men really do die of breast cancer. Sure, you hear the statistics, but this made it real. Each year about 2,140 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed among men and about 450 men will die from the disease. His wife also had breast cancer and she suffered from the effects of chemo and radiation for years. She died of pneumonia but it was exacerbated by all the complications from her breast cancer treatment. My mom also had breast cancer. The surgery made her so sad and she never got over it.  All three of these wonderful people are gone now and it still hurts badly that I couldn’t do a thing about it.

My wonderful husband has been a rock for me all these years as I have dealt not only with my own breast cancer treatment but also as I have agonized over the battle so many of my friends and loved ones have endured and some have lost. It haunts me and that is why I work hard to help make a difference to other cancer patients and that is why I am committed to work with the Greater Fort Worth Susan G. Komen Affiliate and do the annual Race for the Cure.

As I write this, I will be walking in my second Komen 3-Day Walk in a few days with a heavy heart. A member of The Circle is getting ready for more radiation and chemo. She has been fighting for years, and I don’t know how she keeps such a sweet spirit. I will be praying for her with every step I take.

The picture of Rhonda, my daughter; Randi, my granddaughter and me at the 2011 Survivor luncheon at the Omni is very special to me because it shows three generations of a family that does not want to endure any more breast cancer. We all participate in the Race for the Cure and Rhonda will walk with me in the 3-Day next week. 

The picture of my son, daughter and me is also very special to me. It was taken after my hair had grown back after chemo. I kept insisting that the kids meet me at the studio for the picture. They went along, but they didn’t realize how important it was to me. I think it was meant to say “just in case I don't make it, here we are!"  That may have been my only fatalistic thought during all these years. I was 42, my son was 23 and my daughter was 22. Funny, my kids are older now than I was then.

I wish that breast cancer wouldn’t follow me every waking hour, but it does. Sometime I feel almost desperate to do something, ANYTHING to make a difference with this awful disease. I am still a strong independent woman and breast cancer will not defeat me, so I walk the walk; run the race; answer the call to help; motivate people to fundraise and participate as much as they can.  From my very being, I say again, I will do ANYTHING to make a difference with this awful disease.

Help me in this fight. Join a team; become a fundraiser. Work with me until we end breast cancer forever.

Bonnie Renegar, 28 year survivor in 2012

Join our Online Community and show the world that you are IN too!

Start your team today...